Tuesday, November 12, 2002

From: Meg Thomsen meginchina@yahoo.com
Subject: Shan Cai Is Not a Virgin

Hello Friends and Family,

Shan Cai walked into the classroom and gasped loudly. Scrawled across the blackboard were the words, "Shan Cai is not a virgin, and she has had two abortions." This slander could clearly only be the work of two people, Qian Hui and Bai He, the Prada-wearing, Mercedes-driving bitches who were the most popular girls at Yingde Business College in Shanghai. Shan Cai is poor, virtuous and spunky, unlike the bulk of the student body of Yingde. The incident occurred after Qian Hui and Bai He got Shan Cai drunk at the disco and abandoned her while she was passed out under the table, and sent secret photographers to take pictures of her being carried out by the handsome German DJ. Shan Cai being the sweet thing that she is, nothing happened between her and the hot DJ. Qian Hui is jealous of Shan Cai's relationship with the handsome and ruthless Dao Ming Si, leader of the powerful F4 gang that runs everything at Yingde College. It's just another evening on "Meteor Garden," the most-watched soap opera in China. Produced in Taiwan, it's been banned by the Chinese government for being too Westernized. The government feels that the show is a bad influence because of its depiction of materialism, sex and "talking back to teachers". That hasn't stopped it from being available in every store that sells pirated DVDs at six yuan a pop. Everyone's seen it; everyone has their favorite member of the F4 gang. F4 has produced their own boy band CD with karaoke-ready videos, and there are documented stories of girls giving their life savings to fishermen to get them on a boat to Taiwan so that they can find F4 and marry them.

To me, this brings up the question, "What exactly is Westernization?" To the average Chinese person, it means two things: prosperity and promiscuity. And as China opens up with its entry to the WTO, and Beijing and Shanghai playing host to every Western chain imaginable from Starbucks to Schlotsky's, a little healthy confusion about Westernization is bound to happen.

So what is it? When I think of Western culture, think of freedom. I think of writing to your Congressperson, voting, protesting anything from the war on Iraq to Laura Bush's haircut. I think of an independent media and the Constitution. I think of listening to Saint-Saens. I think of being able to go to an art museum and see the violent palette knife marks on a Van Gogh, or the smooth lines of a Brancusi. I think of being able to choose from over three hundred kinds of tea at Tealuxe. I think about owning a passport and being to travel just about anywhere that I can buy a plane ticket. And yes, I think about sex. I think about Jerry Springer. I think about being able to marry whomever I please. I think about drag shows and MTV and Larry Flynt. It's not all a beautiful picture, but it's a real picture. A picture from which I can choose what I like.

My Chinese mother and I had a discussion about Westernization. "You know, I don't know if I want Qingqing to study abroad. If she goes to a big city like Shanghai or Beijing, it is dangerous enough. But if she goes to America or Canada, she might become too Western." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Like those girls in Chengdu. The ones that hang out with foreign men. They go to the discos and sometimes they sleep with those men. Maybe their mothers in their hometowns are crying about what's happened to these girls." She lowered her eyes, embarrassed to continue this line of thought.

Is this Westernization? I have met many Chinese people who have confided to me that they think that many of the "social ills" such as homosexuality, drug use and promiscuity are directly attributable to Western culture. In a typical display of ignoring ideas I don't agree with, I thought that they were absolutely wrong, that freedom is nothing but a good thing and that China could only benefit from having a little more freedom and a little less anti-Western thought. Then I heard about Jenny.

Jenny was a student in Zigong Teacher's College, and I got to know her a bit last year. She's got a combination of assets that can be deadly in China. She's extremely beautiful, sassy, speaks great English, and has big dreams that don't include Sichuan Province and a lot of curiosity about foreigners, especially foreign men. I have high hopes for Jenny and think that she'll go far. Last year, Jenny missed a week of school, and we heard that she was hanging out in the discos with her friends in Chengdu. "Good for her," I thought. "It's about time that these college students started having a little fun."

A few days later, I ran into Andrew, an Irish guy that I met hiking in the trails near Songpan.
He asked, "Hey, is Jenny your student?"
I said, "No, but she's my friend. Why?"
He grinned at me conspiratorially. "She's a little loose, eh?"
"No. What are you talking about?"
"Well, you know, she's been hanging out in the disco all week, so I thought..." "You thought wrong. She's a really nice girl and she's also dumb enough to think that you guys are going to treat her with some respect. Leave her alone."

Have I mentioned that Chengdu is home to the most bizarre assortment of Westerners imaginable? They're either lonely businessmen, missionaries or backpackers who ran out of money in between Thailand or Tibet. They frequent the two foreign bars in town, hoping for a beautiful nineteen-year-old girl to fall into their lap, and the girls are not so blameless. They're hoping for a new life, for a green card, a chance at life in another country.

I wonder about Jenny. She is leaving China in a couple of weeks, to live with her British boyfriend. I hope that she can find her place in England. If it doesn't work out, I wonder if she'll ever be happy in China again. I wonder if she ever would have been happy in the first place.

Over dinner last Friday, Miss Huang warned me about the dangers of following a boyfriend to another place.
"My sister followed a boy to Guangdong Province," she said. "We are from the countryside and she thought that this was her only chance. He turned out to be a cheat, and she tried to kill herself because of the shame. You know, she was not a," and she whispered the word, "virgin."

This is the first time in Chinese history that women have had the chance to create or ruin their own lives. Only in very recent history have women had the chance to decide their own fate, and it's bound that there will be some confusion and hurt along the way. Until very recently, a girl dated a boy and they got married. It was as simple as that. It's different for them than it was for their grandmothers: their fathers found them a suitable husband and married them off. That was that. There's something beautiful to be said for making your own life. No matter what you do, it's always yours and yours alone. You live every night with the hurt and the pain, but the sun rises anew every morning. And that's not Westernization. It's just life.

Two hours ago, I was sitting in the Internet bar when Angela, a student came running up to me, "Tang Mali, today I got divorced!" she sobbed. I realized that she was talking about a break-up with her boyfriend and we walked outside.
"H-h-he was my first boyfriend," she said, "I wanted to love him forever."
I know she did. What could I tell her? Break-ups feel the same way all over the world, and I told her that. I quoted that old country song that croons that if you're with the wrong person, you can never really find the right person. I told her that yuan-fen (fate) will kick in when it's meant to.
"But it's so lonely being alone," she said.
"Sure it is, but you're never really alone. You've got your friends and your family. You've got me, too."
"I never wanted to break up with him," she said.
If this were ten years ago, they wouldn't have. They would have gotten married and they would have cobbled together a marriage. Even if they weren't compatible, they would have made themselves compatible. That's how strong people's will is here. But is it really better?

I'm certain that I have no authority to answer this question. The only vision that comes to mind is the image of Pandora's box. When she opened it, all of the troubles and spites in the world escaped. But there was one thing left, a beautiful phosphorescent orb. It was Hope. The questions that face China today date back to that same old debate that's been haunting Western society for ages: is it dangerous to be able to do whatever we want? Will people be happier if they are sheltered or out on their own? It's Adam-and-Eve and the apple or it's Pandora's box.

It's brave people who are willing to shape their own destinies. And ultimately, the way they shape it will have nothing to do with the West, but everything to do with their own hearts. And Miss Qin may worry while Qingqing trades F4 trading cards with her sister Dong Shuang. The mothers in the countryside may be crying over their adventure-hungry daughters. I can only hope that they may find the words to encourage them, sympathy to help them when the world hurts them, and admiration for their courage.

Good night, all

Love, Meg

I stepped from plank to plank
So slow and cautiously;
The stars about my head I felt,
About my feet the sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch,--
This gave me that precarious gait
Some call experience.

-Emily Dickinson

Love, Meg